Dating & Relationship

Signs You Weren’t Actually in Love After All

Many people seek love or to be in a relationships but that involves growth which can at times be painful, compromised, and vulnerable. Love demands that we constantly improve, be more understanding and practice patience. On the flip sided it also means knowing when things just aren’t working out anymore and having the guts to leave.

Confused about how you feel, Here are 6 signs you were never in Love.

1. You Move Things Fast With Your Partner

Infatuation thrives on speed while love takes time to develop. Relationship expert says

Infatuation lives in illusion. Love can survive reality.
Susan Winter

When you’re quick to jump in a relationship with someone, you base it off your dreams more than whose really in front of you. Common examples include: fantasizing about your future with them, lusting after them, and obsessing about them all done only after a few weeks of knowing them.

2. You Expect Them To Be Flawless

and then you get angry or disappointed when they show you their true colors. Do you believe in soulmates or fate? It sounds good in theory, right? But Winter states that

Infatuation needs perfection in order to survive.
Susan Winter

When you expect your partner to be consistently well dressed, good with their words, or impressive with their accomplishments, you’re not giving them space, to be honest with you. Love, on the other hand, is grounded. When you love someone, you accept their imperfections, work through the bad, and enjoy the good together.

3. You’re Not Comfortable Around Them

Okay,  who hasn’t felt self-conscious about saying the wrong thing or making a bad impression? But when you truly fall in love with someone, that’s when you can let loose and stop caring so much. Doctor Brennade Brownresearch expert on a vulnerability discovered that those who have a strong sense of love and belonging are more open to vulnerability. Whereas those who feel disconnected with their partners consistently build their walls up. When you don’t share your emotions and struggles, nor secrets with someone, you haven’t fully loved.

4. You Become More Distant

It’s normal for passion to intensify initially only to taper off into a steady relationship. But two people in love will still want to be around each other frequently. If you find yourself wanting to get away from your partner more and more these days, canceling dinner plans often because you’d rather go hang out with your friends or family or cat, then something’s up.

5. Your Mind Is Elsewhere

and soon your heart follows too, author of magnetic partners states that

Partners who are in love tend to maintain a focus on their counter parts
Stephen Betchen

When you notice the little things about them or express concern when the two of you run into conflict, it shows that you care for them. But if you avoid those tough conversations or slip away from arguments, you also stop emphasizing their importance in your life.

6. You’ve Developed Anxiety

Have you been experiencing digestive problems or have trouble sleeping? Psychologist K. Bylist Kleely and Doctor Ann Shiba both say that anxiety can show in this bodily function you might have something you need to get off your chest and dread how to break the news off to your partner. Remember, you can only run away from the truth for so long before it catches up to you. Forcing love when it’s absent will only the two of you. Both of you deserve to find love elsewhere if it cannot be found in your relationship.

Where do you think you stand on your feelings?

Preview photo credit Psych2Go

About author


Psych2Go is innovative for spreading discussion of mental health and psychology topics that are complex, however, they are presented in an accessible, light, and fun way by using friendly animated characters.
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